What if you acted as though the thing that you most beat yourself up about didn’t matter at all?

Two of my coaching calls in the last week have been the breakthrough sort – where the person being coached comes face to face with what’s getting in their way and takes the first steps to moving beyond it. Inevitably when it surfaces the problem is a persistent and undermining underlying belief. Normally it’s not even subconscious: it’s right out there, regularly invoked and widely broadcast. Generally it starts with the words I am or I can’t. We identify with these disabling beliefs so strongly ourselves that we believe (know!) everyone else believes them too. They are so ingrained that they have become ‘true’, by which I mean our belief in our ‘disability’ has the same effect as having the disability. It creates a schism in your potential that holds you back as powerfully as if you had chopped your own arm off.

So my challenge for today is to stop. Just for 24 hours, put down the belief that you are stupid, fat, rubbish at maths, spotty, unlovable, a nuisance, ‘not business-minded’, ‘bad with money’, ugly, obnoxious, loud, boring, knock-kneed, unacceptable, or in any other way broken beyond repair and must bear the consequences for the rest of your life.

Look yourself in the eye and say so what. Act as though it doesn’t matter. Think of someone who is even more <insert your negative belief> than you and still has a great life. If you need some inspiration I suggest looking at the Paralympic Games website.

See your neurosis for what it is: the single most powerful thing that is getting in the way of you taking your life in both hands. Just name it, confront it, laugh at it and stop letting it rule your life.

Have a day without it.

And when you’ve done that, do it again tomorrow.

Once you’ve moved beyond it, you might even be able to face what’s really holding you back!

What does it mean to be awake?

The sharp-eyed among you will have spotted that I changed my strap line (why does that phrase always conjure up visions of leather and dungeons?!) to ‘your friendly wake-up call’.

It’s the result of a long process of trying to explain what it is I really do. Yes, I’m a nutritional therapist; yes, I’m a life coach – but that’s just my toolbox. I wanted to describe what my primal motivation is: why I do what I do.

I wake people up.

I help you see that there is only one life and you’d better not spend it napping.

But what does it mean to be awake?

Here are a few pointers:

Beliefs: You are more likely to believe in yourself than in other people or institutions. You will develop an ability to reflect on and evaluate the ideas you were brought up to see as facts and discover whether they are still true for you; including beliefs about yourself, your abilities and the society you live in. Increasingly you will look to yourself for guidance, trusting your own feelings and intuition rather than relying on duty, rules and tradition.

Relationships: You will be seeking win-wins in all your relationships at home and at work. The positive energy created will make an enormous difference to your wellbeing and enjoyment of life. As you feel more supported and supportive you will be able to ‘be yourself’ – risking more honesty and depth with the people you choose to be with. You will find your ‘tribe’. When that happens you are likely to find extra supplies of energy that used to be buried along with your true self.

Money: You will see money as a source of energy in your life, a way of exchanging value rather than power. As you become more confident in your own value you will be less afraid of money and less defined by your financial status. You may even discover that you no longer seek distraction and compensation in material things as you find more purposeful ways to use your time. Money will regain its natural status in your life – a tool, or convenience – not a way to measure your value as a human being.

Health: You will discover that your body is in a delicate balance that you can either nurture or sabotage. When you understand that you can choose to make healthier food choices more often, from a perspective of empowerment rather than restriction. Your idea of a treat – or a good time – may shift as you widen your definition of pleasure to include nourishing rather than anaesthetising yourself. As your energy increases your need for addictive substances will probably reduce and the substances you used to use as props will become treats again.

Work: You will be clear about why you are here and what you want to achieve. That sense of purpose will be reflected in your work, creating a sense of fulfilment that in turn fosters a natural motivation to look after yourself and prolong your experience of this amazing life. You will understand that doing your work can mean more than paying the bills and keeping you off the streets. Your choice of career is a way to express your purpose; so even if you are employed you will identify strongly with the aim of the business you are working in. If self-employed you will be pursuing a personal agenda based on your own needs, the needs of your customers and society at large. There will be a sense of meaning in what you do. It matters.

When all this happens you will be you, in all your glory, alive and kicking. Awake.

Sound good?

Let’s go.

You can duck reality. But you can’t postpone it.

I have started to realise that I spend swathes of time filling in the gaps. The gaps between the things in life I really enjoy doing.

What shall I do until…

I’ll just do this before…

While I’m waiting for X, I’ll just do Y…

Then the other day it hit me: there are no gaps. Time never stops. Even when we stop, the clock keeps ticking. And the only moment we can be sure of is now. And now. And now.

With that realisation comes a knowledge that every second we spend…

(And I like the idea of thinking of seconds as pennies that you spend: something you cannot store in a piggy bank.)

…is an opportunity. Grasped or wasted.

Most of us are highly skilled at telling ourselves that our life is going to start just around the next corner. That there’s only one more hurdle to jump and it will all start to roll.

The next promotion…

Once we’ve moved house…

When we’ve reached our ideal weight…

By the time the drugs take effect…

After our holiday…

As soon as the mortgage is paid off…

When the kids leave school…

When the kids start school…

Once the moment feels right…

As though there is some time slush fund somewhere that we’re going to stumble upon that will allow us to do all those things that we want/should/ought/long to do.

Well there isn’t. There is only now. As in…

1. If you’re not prepared to do the thing that makes you happy now, what makes you think you’ll be any more ready to do it this time next week?

2. You are not going to receive a hand-written invitation through the post inviting you to concentrate on your own personal fulfilment.

3. If you really, badly, want to do a different thing, or feel a different feel, or sing a different song, then today is the day to get going.

There are no gaps.

There is no guarantee.

There are no prizes.

There is no perfect time.

There is only now.

How will you spend it?