Pay Careful Attention – Your Life Depends on it!

You know this already, but today is my day to remind you.

Your attention span is finite.

You are allowed to choose what you pay attention to… but you probably don’t exercise that choice as much as you want to, or need to.

You can spend all day paying attention to your normal routine, your computer screen, your aching knee, or your plans to spend money (often disguised as the next exciting thing in your life). Or you can spend your day creating a more interesting route, taking the chance to look out of the window, finding a new way to stretch and move your aching knee, or exploring life beyond the constraints of what money can buy.

Some forms of attention are mutually exclusive:

You cannot appreciate your wellbeing while focussing on your poor health.

You cannot be creative while doing what everyone else does.

You cannot be true to yourself while betraying someone else.

You cannot enjoy your wealth while worrying about your poverty.

You cannot be at peace when you are waging war.

You cannot enjoy now while planning what’s next.

You cannot learn until you are willing to now know.

You cannot love yourself while you are hating others.

You cannot win if you are not prepared to lose.

You cannot be unless you are prepared to not do.

The things we focus on and which claim our attention are the most important indicator of the life we experience. It really is that simple.

Nothing else has to change – just the things that we let our mind settle on.

The Getting Dressed Game

For our story today I want to take you back 14 years to the wonderful time of my life when my daughter was a toddler. Well, I say wonderful, it would have been had I not been battling breast cancer and going through radio- and chemotherapy. My memories of that time are a bit fuzzy but I remember that  I was often tired – and it was mainly her gorgeous smile (see opposite!) and delightful energy that kept me going.

I’m sure it was no coincidence that, at this critical time for all of us, Polly started showing signs of rebellion.  Specifically, she just wouldn’t get dressed in the morning. I would coax and smile and choose her favourite clothes and be as loving and gentle as possible, but this 3 year old was having none of it. Our morning sessions before nursery used to end in tears, often mine.

Yet these were such precious times to me. I was full of fears for my future, and hers, but determined to keep it on an even keel. All I wanted was some ‘quality time’ with my daughter. But it wasn’t happening. There was a game going on that we were both losing. One morning, exhausted, tearful and completely out of puff, I phoned my lovely mum and asked her to come and help. I just couldn’t do it any more. I was beaten.

But not for long! I’m not good at giving up. I knew there had to be another, more creative, way to approach this situation. After all, my daughter is intrinsically good, I’m intrinsically good, we both want to have a good time. What did we need to do to make it happen?

That very next day I invented ‘The Getting Dressed Game’. Every morning, I’d lay BOTH our clothes out across the bedroom floor in a line and we had to race to put them on. From that moment on everything changed: mornings became fun, our day started well and both of our lives became better.

One morning after playing The Getting Dressed Game we were walking to nursery, hand in hand, and the conversation went like this:

Polly: “I beat you this morning, didn’t I Mummy.”

Mummy: “Yes, you did, Polly. I don’t know why, because I was doing my best.”

Polly: “Don’t be silly, Mummy, you don’t wear a best.”

Precious memories.

———

The question is… What’s going on in your life? What brick wall are you banging your head against that needs a simple, more creative approach. I’d love to help you invent a new and more successful game plan.

What does it mean to be awake?

The sharp-eyed among you will have spotted that I changed my strap line (why does that phrase always conjure up visions of leather and dungeons?!) to ‘your friendly wake-up call’.

It’s the result of a long process of trying to explain what it is I really do. Yes, I’m a nutritional therapist; yes, I’m a life coach – but that’s just my toolbox. I wanted to describe what my primal motivation is: why I do what I do.

I wake people up.

I help you see that there is only one life and you’d better not spend it napping.

But what does it mean to be awake?

Here are a few pointers:

Beliefs: You are more likely to believe in yourself than in other people or institutions. You will develop an ability to reflect on and evaluate the ideas you were brought up to see as facts and discover whether they are still true for you; including beliefs about yourself, your abilities and the society you live in. Increasingly you will look to yourself for guidance, trusting your own feelings and intuition rather than relying on duty, rules and tradition.

Relationships: You will be seeking win-wins in all your relationships at home and at work. The positive energy created will make an enormous difference to your wellbeing and enjoyment of life. As you feel more supported and supportive you will be able to ‘be yourself’ – risking more honesty and depth with the people you choose to be with. You will find your ‘tribe’. When that happens you are likely to find extra supplies of energy that used to be buried along with your true self.

Money: You will see money as a source of energy in your life, a way of exchanging value rather than power. As you become more confident in your own value you will be less afraid of money and less defined by your financial status. You may even discover that you no longer seek distraction and compensation in material things as you find more purposeful ways to use your time. Money will regain its natural status in your life – a tool, or convenience – not a way to measure your value as a human being.

Health: You will discover that your body is in a delicate balance that you can either nurture or sabotage. When you understand that you can choose to make healthier food choices more often, from a perspective of empowerment rather than restriction. Your idea of a treat – or a good time – may shift as you widen your definition of pleasure to include nourishing rather than anaesthetising yourself. As your energy increases your need for addictive substances will probably reduce and the substances you used to use as props will become treats again.

Work: You will be clear about why you are here and what you want to achieve. That sense of purpose will be reflected in your work, creating a sense of fulfilment that in turn fosters a natural motivation to look after yourself and prolong your experience of this amazing life. You will understand that doing your work can mean more than paying the bills and keeping you off the streets. Your choice of career is a way to express your purpose; so even if you are employed you will identify strongly with the aim of the business you are working in. If self-employed you will be pursuing a personal agenda based on your own needs, the needs of your customers and society at large. There will be a sense of meaning in what you do. It matters.

When all this happens you will be you, in all your glory, alive and kicking. Awake.

Sound good?

Let’s go.